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Why Men Pull Away from Women


Why Men Pull Away from Women

Have you ever wondered why men pull away from women in a relationship? You probably have, because it is a very common question and it is a source of frustration for a lot of women. The good news is that it is a question that can be answered. The bad news is that there are multiple answers because there are a number of reasons why men pull away.

He Pulls Away after Sex

This scenario is all too common. A man is attracted to you, he is pursuing you, you have sex with him, and then you never see him again. The reason that this happens is because some men are not looking for, or are not ready for, a relationship. A lot of men enjoy a challenge and hooking up with an attractive woman is a challenge. It’s sad but true that a lot of men are in it for the thrill of the hunt and have no intention of entering into a committed relationship.

The obvious solution to this problem is to not give it up so early in a relationship. Take some time for the two of you to really get to know each other. Make sure that you like each other and do your best to see what his intentions are before taking your relationship to the next level. While some men are just pigs who are looking to hook up and move on, there are plenty of good men out there who truly want to find a loving relationship and a life partner.

He Pulls Away When He Is Going through a Difficult Time

Sometimes a man will pull away from a woman when he is going through a challenging time in his life. If the two of you are in the early stages of a relationship and he loses his job, has a death in the family, or has some other major issue to deal with, he may pull away from you. As a woman it may be hard to understand. After all, you want to be there for him to help him through a difficult situation.

The problem is that a lot of men have been raised and conditioned to take care of their problems on their own. A man doesn’t want anyone’s help, he just wants to solve his own problems. When a man is going through a difficult time he may not call, text, or e-mail you as often as he once did. There is a chance that the relationship could end but if you are patient and understanding and you give him some time, things may go back to the way they were before.

He Pulls Away When Things Are Going Great

This scenario is more difficult to understand because logically, it just doesn’t make sense. Maybe you have been dating for a while now. You talk to each other every day and the two of you are beginning to fall in love. Suddenly, he stops calling so often; he calls maybe once or twice a week. It doesn’t make sense, things were going great and now he seems distant and uninterested.

There may be a number of reasons for this type of behavior. One reason might be that he has been hurt before and would rather sabotage his relationship than be dumped by a woman he is falling in love with. Another reason simply has to do with the psychology of men. When a relationship starts to get serious, some men need to take a little time to themselves to make sure they don’t lose their sense of self. He might see himself becoming “us” instead of “me” so he may pull away and take some time to rediscover and reaffirm his own identity.

How you react when this happens makes all the difference. When a man starts to pull away, the natural inclination of a lot of women is to chase after him. If a man pulls away and you begin to pursue him more aggressively, you may only push him further away. On the other hand, if a man pulls away and you make no effort to contact him, this can also be damaging to the relationship. You need to find the balance between giving him the space he needs when he pulls away and completely shutting him out. If you give him the space he needs without cutting him off completely, it is likely that he will soon be back to pursuing you the way he was at the very beginning of your relationship.

Learn more with this video…


Why Isn’t He Texting Me Back

What is he telling you when doesn’t reply to your texts? Should you be worried or concerned? Should you send follow up texts to find out what is wrong?
Watch this video before “panicking” and making a critical mistake that will upset him or chase him away. Plus, learn a secret technique called “ping texting” that can help you make him text you back….

Discover all the information you need to make him not only want you…but CHASE you!

First Kiss Advice – Find Out How to Make it One to Remember

For so long we’ve watched the movies that show THAT kiss.  You know which one I’m talking about right?  It’s the one where at the end of the first date where the connection is so electrifying that the guy takes the girl in his arms, leans her back, look her in the eyes, and plants the most amazing soulful lip lock on her…And the spontaneity of it and entire scene itself is so perfect.

advice first kiss(I get goosebumps just thinking about it.)  What a wonderfully romantic moment.

Now let me ask, how many times do you think that kind of kiss ever really happens?  How many times has it happened to you?  I’d venture, one if you’re lucky, but likely it’s zero.  Oh sure, that kiss eventually comes, but not like that.

Do you know why?

I read an article I want to share that explains it all.  Plus it explains, from a guy who really knows his stuff, about how really give a first kiss to remember.

Here’s what he says…

If you have ever been on a first date, you have probably had an awful kiss moment.  This is one of the most important things I have to teach men about because it’s mostly our fault.  But the truth is that women never really help us.

If a man takes you on a date there is a 90% chance he wants to kiss you.  He is only waiting and really just paying his taxes until you give him the sign that he has: spent enough money, told enough good stories, spent enough time with you.

What you need to know is that men cannot read your signals.

I know that it’s hard to believe but all of those subtle little signals you are sending out are only understandable to other women.  I have stood next to a student while a woman kept leaning in closer and closer to his mouth and he didn’t realize what was happening.  She would close her eyes, tilt her head and lean in toward his mouth.  He wouldn’t react and she would rock back out.  I had to sneak up behind him and tell him that I would punch him in the kidney if he didn’t kiss her.

That might seem extreme but it was the only way that woman was ever going to get kissed.

The worst thing that can happen on a first date is the awkward front door moment.  I spend so much time teaching my male students how to avoid it, but it always amazes me how many women will actively create this socially awkward moment.

The earlier you kiss on a date the better.

Please have the courtesy to remove the elephant in the room.

He is only pretending to listen to your story about your sister’s new job.  All he’s thinking about is that moment.  Is she going to kiss me?  Is she not going to kiss me?  Am I wasting my time?

If you ever wonder why men don’t remember anything you say on a first date, that’s why. It’s a constant track running through the backs of their minds.

Is there a solution?

Of course there is!  I wouldn’t leave you hanging.  I am going to teach you a kissing technique that has been passed down from male dating coach to male dating coach for generations.  This is the first kissing move I ever tried, and it worked great.

Just say to him, “Do you want to kiss me?”

Now I know that sounds scary, but don’t worry.  There is an escape hatch.  Besides, don’t you want to know early on if you are with a guy who’s not interested?

There are only three possible answers: yes, no and maybe.

YES – “Then what are you waiting for?” and kiss.

NO – “Oh, you just looked like you were thinking about something.”

MAYBE, “Let’s find out,” and the ball is in his court.

By moving the kiss forward in the date you avoid creating an awkward situation that actually makes you no longer attracted to a man.  If you have that front door moment, there is just too much pressure.  It forces you to recall way too many movies and that’s something you really want to avoid.

So just get it out of the way so you can have a nice date.

Now, these are the tips that will help make your guy want you.  Want to learn more?  Click here.

7 Traits to Get a Man to Want You

get a man to marry you“How do you get a man to want you?”  Is this a burning question inside you?  Are you interested in turning that relationship into a commitment or even marriage, but not sure how to help nudge your guy in that direction?  Here are 7 tips to get a man to want you as provided by Dr. Val Farmer from The Pilot – Independent.

Now, I have to tell you right up front that this information is actually based on the concept of what a man looks for in a marriage.  But if you think about it, don’t the two topics go hand in hand?  After all, if you can display these traits while you’re dating, wouldn’t that show him what you have to offer when he puts that ring on your finger and says, “I do.”

I have to admit, having read these tips, they are so common sense related that it didn’t seem like they would need to be pointed out.  However, since women and men come from different worlds, (remember the book, “Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars?), and can’t really seem to communicate in the same language, then it makes sense that these traits need to be identified so you’ll know how to get a man to want you.

(These concepts are broken down and spelled out in pretty well in this videoYou can hear it from an expert himself who lays out this information with some really easy to understand examples.)

I would have to say of the 7 traits, the last one is the one I would have to agree with most…and the one that worked best for me in my relationships.  It was also a key factor for my sisters and friends when it came to getting a man interested.

Here are the 7 traits:

• Be less critical. Men feel they’re often on the defensive and “wrong” just for voicing an opinion that doesn’t match their girlfriends’ expectations and standards. They want a feeling of teamwork, cooperation, and a more legitimate discussion of issues in their relationships.

• Accept him for what he is —imperfect. He needs to be accepted as he is with his own legitimate interests and hobbies. Take advantage of his strengths and good points. Men want appreciation, probably for the things they are doing for the family. Reinforce and reward the things you appreciate him doing.

• Don’t make every issue between you a fight to the death. Some quirks and differences you can live with. Trying to change him adds to his and your frustration and resentment.

• The home should be a refuge, not a place where he faces a barrage of criticism and conflict. How strongly and frequently you are judgmental of him may shut him down or trigger an emotional response that exacerbates the problem.

• Forget the past. Husbands feel that some past hurts and blunders in the relationship aren’t left alone. They feel matters they think are resolved are brought up unfairly in fights. “Let the dead stay buried.” Forgive mistakes. Don’t bear grudges. Don’t bring up the past unless it pertains to a current problem.

• Be supportive of work and leisure activities. Men want their wives to understand that work obligations occasionally take precedence over family needs. Some of their priorities are out of their control.  Men would like understanding and appreciation for the work pressures and responsibilities they face. A man’s work accomplishments and struggles need to be recognized and supported.

• They also want acceptance for their occasional need to be alone or to pursue their personal interests.

• Be nurturing. Giving emotional support, respect, attention, soothing and meeting his needs makes coming home special. Family meals together give more than bodily nourishment.

In homes where there is confusion, disorganization, anger or emotional distance, men don’t do well. The family doesn’t do well. This isn’t a rehashing of stone-age advice on how to please a boyfriend or even husband…”shut up and wait on them.” No.  It’s more the concept that mutual roles need to be clarified, understood and negotiated.

If you’re working outside of the home, this is a two-way street. He has a supportive role to play also. But the nurturing and caring still needs to take place. What we are talking about is caring, not care taking. In the era of women’s greater involvement outside of the home, the baby shouldn’t be thrown out with the bath water.

• Verbalize needs. Men don’t like being judged or criticized for not doing something they “should have known.” There are times when they just “don’t get it.” They want their girlfriends’ expectations spelled out — the more detail, the better. Don’t expect him to read your mind. Be clear and spell out exactly what you want and expect from him.

• Be a friend. Men want a safe haven, a best friend where they can unburden themselves and be accepted for who they are. They want to be able to share emotions and know their thoughts and feelings will be kept confidential. Companionship, affection and romance are important. They want a friend who can take their side and is supportive of their struggles.

• Take responsibility for your own happiness. Don’t expect your husband to solve all your problems. If you depend on him to make you happy and always do the thoughtful, loving or right thing, you will be disappointed.

If you are insecure or unhappy with yourself, you’ll have a tendency to put strong and unrealistic demands on the relationship. Over time, unhealthy dependency breeds hostility and resentment.

The last point is such an important part of being in a healthy relationship. Some people I love struggle with this and it pains me to see. Ladies we need to find our own happiness before we can be happy!

(Are you ready to win your guy over?  Get more follow up information you can use by going to ==> how to get a man to want you.  These are the exclusive details you don’t want to miss if you want him to to want you.)

How to Avoid Ruining the First Date

How to guarantee he asks you out again!!!

Learn the secret techniques guaranteed to you a second date here.

There are so many things that separate men from women.  Our style of conversation is one of them.  And while looking great has it’s pluses when it comes to the first date, it’s the conversation that has the biggest and most lasting impact if you really want a guy to want you and call for that second date.

Ladies, how we talk during our first date could land you a quick phone call for a follow-up engagement, or leave you wondering what ever the heck happened to the man you thought may have been Mr. Right.

Well, the good news is that I’ve got some tips for you to teach about how to avoid ruining the first date.  And these tips are basically all about the conversation and what to say.

This is great information that I can guarantee you never thought of before so read though very carefully to make you don’t miss anything.

(Oh, and by the way, this is an article from a leading expert in the field, Jonathon Green.  You may not know of him, but I can assure you that a great many guys do and that’s because he is teaching them how to get the girlfriend of their dreams.  He want to help girl find and get the men they want as well.  Find out what he and his partner T Dub have to say about it by clicking here.)

How to Ruin a First Date

It’s amazing how often I see women make mistakes that can kill a date before it even gets started. You are out to have a good time and you want to be yourself, but there is some information you just want to save for later on.

I have been on hundreds of first dates and there are a few things that a woman can do to kill my attraction for her instantly. It’s true that men are visual, but having nice looks just gets you a first date, if you do something weird you can ensure that there is never a second date.

How Many Exes?

One of the biggest mistakes women do on a first date is talk about an ex. I have seen the entire spectrum of women who do this and it’s NEVER a good idea. I have been on dates where women talk about how their last boyfriend was abusive and now he’s in jail, how they have had sex with over 100 men and the last one was just a few hours ago, how they are still in love with their ex, how a certain ex was the best lover ever, how her last boyfriend was the one but just didn’t realize he should marry her. I could go on and on. I have seen it dozens of times and every time I without exception I think about how inappropriate it is.

Even if I tell a woman that it’s not ok to talk about her exes, usually she won’t stop. Because she has made it a part of her character.

I can usually tell a lot about someone based on the stories they tell in conversation. Younger women often only have stories about their parents or siblings. A little later in life, women have stories about their friends. Before long, some only have stories about their exes.

If a woman only has stories about her exes this tells me several things about her. She is perpetually in relationships and that is a big red flag for me. I want to be with a woman who is complete on her own, as Travis teaches about in GirlGetsRing. I also know that a girl ditches her friends as soon as she’s in a relationship, otherwise she would be telling stories about them.

how to avoid ruining dinnerWhen I hear about a woman’s exes I start to compare myself to them and I don’t like that. I only talk about my exes in my books and blog posts, I never talk about them on dates. I don’t want to make a woman I’m with uncomfortable and you shouldn’t do it to a man. You might be thinking right now that there is an exception to the rule, but there really isn’t. Talking about your exes is always awful on a first date.

Do You Want to Get Married?

I talk extensively in GirlGetsRing about my one blind date. My dad set me up with a girl who was just awful. One of the many mistakes she made was asking questions that let me know she was clearly husband shopping.

Let me be clear: I want you to marry me because you think I’m amazing, not because you want to be married!

Husband auditions remove every single piece of specialness from a relationship. Why would you ever want to do that? It’s ok to screen a man and see if he’s good husband material, but don’t be OBVIOUS about it.

Do not ask a man if he wants to get married, if he wants to have children, where he sees himself in five years, etc.

All these questions are big red flags. I’ve actually recently decided that I’m finally old enough to consider settling down — but these questions still freak me out.

The Interview

I’m a savvy conversationalist. I have written several books on dating and communication, given numerous lectures and personally trained hundreds of men on ways to improve their conversational and dating skills…and yet I still go on boring dates.

Some women will do whatever it takes to be on a boring date.

Here is a secret about women: you will ask boring questions and then get upset with a man for giving boring answers. This is a huge problem in online dating that I discuss in The Perfect Profile – women make boring profiles and then can’t figure out why they are getting boring emails.

On a date you don’t want to ask questions. Normal conversation is a flow of statements. When you are talking to your friends, it is almost always a group of people taking turns telling stories. The only time we get asked questions is at job interviews and on bad dates.

I know that sometimes you are both nervous and can’t make the conversation flow. So it is ok to ask questions – they just have to be open ended. Don’t ask him where he works. How much money he makes. Does he have any brothers and sisters. What’s his favorite color. How was the commute to work.

You want to ask interesting questions:

What’s your best friend like?

Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? Why?

If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?

What makes you happy?

I know these are deeper questions, but there is nothing worse than being boring. It’s the ultimate curse on a woman and it’s just as bad as being called desperate.

If you can avoid these three mistakes your dates will start going a lot better. And that will make life so much easier.

Click here to learn more about how to avoid ruining the first date.